Been trying to decide what to write. It’s been an emotional time. I was planning on writing a race recap, but I just couldn’t find the significance of this particular race. Boston was heavy on my mind.
The Lansing Half Marathon was just 6 days after the tragedy in Boston. I struggled a lot with my feelings. I wasn’t in Boston but my heart ached for the runners, for the victims, for the families. I really do feel like someone attacked my family. I debated if I was going to even do it. I told my husband I didn’t want him and my son to go. We all know running is a somewhat selfish sport, and I kept thinking of the guilt that father who’s son passed, wife and daughter injured, must feel, it was his race, and his family was hurt, just to cheer him on? I just couldn’t handle that. As I continued watching news coverage, they showed the clips over and over. The finish line, such a familiar place, something I had encountered many times before and never thought anything of it but now? I just couldn’t get it together. I finally decided to run the race on Thursday, and decided hubby and son would attend as well on Saturday, as they wouldn’t be attending Great Lakes Bay Half Marathon in May.
But this race was different:
- I ran with music. I never run a race with music. I love the sound of all the feet hitting the pavement, I need to hear the crowd, I want to hear my breath. But this time I needed the distraction and I ran with music, I blared it, other runners looked at me because they could hear it.
- I don’t remember any of the course. You know, all those awesome photos that Jeff posted on his review? When I looked at all the pictures, it definitely did not feel like something I had participated in. And the State Capital? I didn’t even see it.
- The train, it happened at mile 3.5, just when your in the groove, the crowd thins out, and runners are not “jockeying” for position. And then we stopped, dead stop, for 3 minutes. But as I was standing still starting to get angry watching my Garmin tick away. I realized that just 6 days ago, over 5000 runners were stopped at the 25.5 mile mark and told the race was over for a very horrific reason. This was just a train, everyone was safe and we would get to finish our race. So in the scheme of life it just wasn’t a big deal.
- At the end, I didn’t even pick up the pace. I just wasn’t feeling it.
I was on Auto-Pilot but I did it and somehow still managed a 7 minute PR. I am proud to be a part of this awesome community. No matter how fast or how slow all runners have a bond and right now it’s stronger then ever.
How are you feeling after Boston? Has it been hard for you too?